InsaneJournal

The world hasn't made sense for a long time. I haven't been sure which way is up or what to do with my life. Unsettled, unbalanced, unsure. But even through all of that, I had them. They were there, no matter what. For the last ten fucking years, they're been there, and it's just... It's not right. Remus. Why Remus? Sirius or James, I wouldn't have been surprised by. God, they've been practically begging for it. But Remus? It's just not fair. It's not fair. He was a good person with a good heart. Out of all of us, he was probably the person that deserved it least. Even less than Agnes because, god, at least she didn't do anything to try not to attract their attention.

I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm... I don't even know. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired, and I don't see any way out of this. I don't even know if I want out of it now. They can't win. They can't. I'm not going to let this be in vain, be as random and meaningless as they tried to make it. I won't.

I wish I just knew how.

Happy Birthday, Moony. I hope it's a good one. Wherever you are.

What do we do now?

One down. Three to go. I hope you are all fucking happy.