Peter "so fucking done" Pettigrew

The states are starting to sound really appealing. Anyone know what Hawaii's like this time of year?

[PRIVATE]

I am not going to write that fucking list out for a third time in one week. I refuse to. I'll update it with the attacks next time something happens, but I'm not going to write it out again. I don't want to have to stare at it one right after another.

I'm tired. Why am I tired when nothing has even happened to me or my family? I wish there was something that I could do for Marlene, but I'm not a miracle worker. And no one can bring someone back from the dead. And that's about the only thing that will help her right about now. I hate feeling useless.

I need to talk to Mum. She's got to be worried with everything that's going on. I know Dad tries not to tell her things, but she isn't an idiot. She'll know.

[PRIVATE TO MARAUDERS & LILY]

I think I'm going to go to my parents' for a few days.

[PRIVATE TO THE ORDER]

If anyone needs me, I'm going to be staying with my parents in Birkenhead for awhile. Mum's a little jumpy after the attack, and she's convinced that if I stay in my own flat, I'm going to be blown up. I think she'd probably throttle me herself if she had any idea I was out in the middle of it. And then she'd probably blame James and Sirius for corrupting her poor sweet little boy.

[PRIVATE TO THE MARAUDERS]

If all of the battles we end up in are going to be that chaotic, we need some way to make sure that we can find each other if we need to especially if one of us ends up hurt enough that we need immediate assistance. What we need is some kind of signal that will alert the four of us without drawing attention from anyone else, something that we can carry with us like the dogtags.

[PRIVATE]

Part of me wants to follow Sirius's advice. With the way things are going, it's only a matter a time before each of us ends up losing a in that situation, and I really should go and make sure my parents are fully prepared. But I know that as much as Mum would appreciate the visit, Dad would end up peppering me with questions.

'Why are you telling me to do something like that for?' 'What do you know?' 'What did you get yourself into, boy?'

I can't lie to him worth shit, and this...this is the last thing he needs to know about. Even if it might make him proud of me for once. It's probably better that I just hope that Dad's paranoia has already ended in the house being warded. All I'd be able to do if I went over there would be to nag him to do it himself, anyway. God, I really need to pull out my old Defense texts and see if I can make myself less incompetent.

Maybe I'll call Mum first.

[PRIVATE TO THE MARAUDERS]

Anyone in the mood to go get plastered? I really need to stop thi

The ink stains have become part of my skin. I fear my hands are going to be permanently blue and black speckled. I haven't had to write so much since our NEWT examinations. But all of the cases are finally records, filed, and cataloged properly. No more working myself to death. I get my social life back at last. At least, what I had of one to begin with.

So. How is everyone?

[PRIVATE TO THE MARAUDERS]

I loathe papercuts. My hands are covered in them.